Moms: The Most Dangerous Drivers.

Where I live, they passed a “Distracted Driver” law last year. It prohibits the use of cell phones and other media gadgets while driving. I agree with this, of course. It also prohibits some stuff like eating while driving, or putting on makeup. Yes, of course those things can be dangerous, but eating? Really? I mean, who hasn’t eaten while driving? Crazy talk. What’s really bizarre is that they didn’t even address the MOST dangerous driving offence of them all…. being a Mom.

Have you ever BEEN in a car with a busy, distracted mom? That’s scary stuff right there, that is. How do I know? Well. I’m one of them. I used to be a fantastic driver. But now? I scare myself.

A mom is required to drive on the road ensuring that her precious cargo arrives safely at its destination. She needs to do this while often carrying on 3 different conversations at once, each at a different volume level – talking, yelling, screaming and whispering are frequently multi tasked while hurtling down the road at high speed. The mom’s right hand is in continuous motion, either waving behind her erratically and blindly trying to locate a leg to swat pat, stretching to the far side of the vehicle to insert a pacifier that fell out of a mouth, finding the dropped (insert ‘precious doll/toy/book/sippy cup’) item that must be found NOW, fumbling to manage the buttons on the DVD player, or panicked rummaging through the bag on the passengers seat to make sure she brought her wallet or mail or whatever item this entire errand is based around.

Her left hand is the only thing controlling the vehicle. Her eyes sure aren’t on the road. They are busy darting furtive glances in the rear view mirror, alternating glaring with wide eyed shock, surveying the damage, or a quick realization that she forgot to put makeup on her face today. Or that she’s only put makeup on one eye. Maybe that last one has only happened to me.

In the midst of this mayhem is usually when her husband decides to call just to “chat” or see “how things are going”. Even with the hands-free speaker option, there is no remaining brain matter space allocated to have this conversation like an intelligent person. She is maxed out and might be operating on only 4 hrs sleep as it is.

Wait… I just realized something. I’ve been looking at this all wrong.

We are the BEST drivers on the road! I mean, I manage to do this daily and get EVERYONE to their destination ALIVE.

EVERYDAY. That’s a heck of a feat.


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